


pull me out from inside

by sahraylia



Category: New Amsterdam (TV 2018)
Genre: Character Study, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Genderfluid Character, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Polyamorous Triad, Polyamory, Trans Character, Transgender, though max doesn't think of himself as such
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 20:23:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18431432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sahraylia/pseuds/sahraylia
Summary: Max wakes up, and immediately feels different.





	pull me out from inside

**Author's Note:**

> as a nonbinary transgender person, i wanted to explore what max would be like as a genderfluid character. this is the beginning of that exploration.

Max wakes up, and immediately feels different.

He lays still for a moment, considering the bubbles in the ceiling as his thoughts somersault around in his head. He comes back to himself when Georgia floats through their bedroom door with two steaming mugs of coffee in hand, her bare feet padding noiselessly across the sunlit rug. She smiles softly at him, and he smiles back, automatic, some of the rapidly formed tight snarls in his chest loosening a little from her presence alone. Next to him, Helen shifts with a small sigh, burrowing deeper under the bedcovers until only her dark braids are visible on the pillows.

Georgia hands Max one of the mugs before sitting down on the edge of the bed, crossing her legs and blowing on her coffee a few times like she's done for years upon years. Max props himself up on one elbow and takes a cautious sip of his own coffee, promptly burning the roof of his mouth like he's done for the same number of years. They drink in silence for a minute, listening to Helen's delicate, whistling snores.

"I give her another ten minutes," Georgia muses, watching the Helen-shaped lump with fondness in her eyes.

"Make it five," Max says. His voice is deep, sleep-rough. Doesn't feel right. He clears his throat, tries again. "The coffee will revive her." That's better.

Georgia must sense something, because of course she does. She looks at him, leans her body fully towards him, attentive. Max flushes without his permission.

"Hey," Georgia says, quiet, measured. She rests one hand over his blanketed knee. Her eyes are gentle, searching. "I haven't heard that voice in a while. One of those days?"

Max smiles shakily and looks down, because he doesn't know what else to do. He sets his coffee on the nightstand, finds a loose thread in the bedsheet and starts picking at it. "I, uh. Yeah. Yes." His voice sounds higher, breathier, and it's almost totally unconscious. He hates it.

(Loves it.)

Georgia's hand moves from his knee to his jaw, cradling his face. He looks up slowly, still a bit unsure, afraid, even after all this time with her, and then together these past few years with Helen. 

But Georgia's smile is radiant, warm and loving and  _embracing_ , and just like that, Max feels himself bloom from the inside out.

"Hi, sugar," Georgia murmurs, caressing his cheek with her thumb. Max nuzzles into her hand, closes his eyes, exhales.

"Hi," he answers. His voice is lilting. He lets it be. 

_This is okay._

Helen emerges from her deep slumber a few minutes later, grumbling incomprehensibly and making grabby hands for Georgia's coffee, and as Max rubs dutifully slow circles into Helen's back, his eyes catch Georgia's, and he's grounded.

**Author's Note:**

> many thanks to the lovely sweeterthankarma for tossing ideas back and forth with me regarding this concept. she's a gem and you should go read her stuff!
> 
> title is a lyric from "colorblind" by counting crows.


End file.
